function daver() { var r_text = new Array (); r_text[0] = "-I don't do Second Life... I don't have a first life either... Dave R"; r_text[1] = "-Never trust a man dressed nicer than you are... Dave R"; r_text[2] = "-It is the height of evil, arrogance, and ignorance to kill enemies about whom you know nothing about. First, you learn everything about them: their strengths, their weaknesses, their thought processes, how to manipulate them, then you kill them... Dave R"; r_text[3] = "-So she is just wearing body armor for clothing, Outstanding!... Dave R"; r_text[4] = "-My biggest weakness is for hot women whom are evil... Dave R"; r_text[5] = "-Come on man, go see a Dermatologist and ask him to grow you a thicker skin... Dave R"; r_text[6] = "-I think if you use frame 0, you are debasing yourself, thats what you are, a Zero. Always start at frame 1... Dave R(in reference to the Maya timeline)"; r_text[7] = "-If I was posting a personal on the web, I would describe myself as an angry white male... Dave R"; r_text[8] = "-Little birds are kind of like feminazis, their feathers are easily ruffled... Dave R"; r_text[9] = "-Designers and Animators are like Chiefs and Indians. Prologue has too many Chiefs and not enough Indians... Dave R"; r_text[10] = "-Remember Sanchez, Always be flexible, but never break... Dave R"; r_text[11] = "-You see the unknown secret, is that I came to LA not for CG, but to be a male porn star, but I failed miserably... Dave R"; r_text[12] = "-How does it feel to be the owner of the stupidest keyboard ever?... Dave R(in reference to the new mac keyboards)"; r_text[13] = "-You have got to keep your sexual energy up, that is how you stay young... Dave R"; r_text[14] = "-If I'm looking at you weird it is because you remind me of the very first teacher I ever had in the United States. My sixth grade teacher... Dave R"; r_text[15] = "-My license doesn't say that I'm a Jew, although it should with pride... Dave R"; r_text[16] = "-Not only am I smarter and better looking than you, but I can fight much more effectively... Dave R"; r_text[17] = "-Maybe there is another me. Personally I hope not because you guys have it hard enough dealing with one of me... Dave R"; r_text[18] = "-Basically, I'm a square guy in a round world... Dave R"; r_text[19] = "-I would never drive myself to suicide, I drive other people to suicide... Dave R"; r_text[20] = "-I don't whine, I objectively lament... Dave R"; r_text[21] = "-Never, have my ideas been accepted by the client. Never. They always get filtered through the prism of Danny Yount... Dave R"; r_text[22] = "-If I were in charge we would all wear suits... Dave R"; r_text[23] = "-Never trust a man dressed nicer than you are... Dave R"; r_text[24] = "-They (women) grow very good in Ukraine, did you know that?... Dave R"; r_text[25] = "-If there was a man that I wanna be, it would be Clive Owen, I bet he has no problem getting dates... Dave R"; r_text[26] = "-I have to admit I have a weakness for women in strapless dresses... Dave R"; r_text[27] = "-I know I may feel like a robot sometimes, working here all the time, but I do need female companionship... Dave R"; r_text[28] = "-If I were a girl I'd were high heels all the time. I'm old-fashioned... Dave R"; r_text[29] = "-I used to be able to do 70 push-ups in 2 minutes, but I'm de-conditioned now. I have to re-condition... Dave R"; r_text[30] = "-I need a woman. How much does she weigh, 100 lbs? I carry 100 lbs on my back when i march... Dave R"; r_text[31] = "-Actually, I think UV layout is as fun as glueing salt onto crackers... Dave R"; r_text[32] = "-I would never use that word, I would use romantic interlude... Dave R"; r_text[33] = "-Do I look like a keyboard?! Then why do you keep pressing my buttons?... Dave R"; r_text[34] = "-You give me crap for getting the blue-screen of death and then you give me crap for singing. Exactly what do I have to do to stop getting crap around here?... Dave R"; r_text[35] = "-There are two things I will not do once I'm married: I will not buy a tampon and I will not change diapers... Dave R"; r_text[36] = "-I eat horrible amounts of blueberries, blackberries, strawberries, and cherries... Dave R"; r_text[37] = "-I don't like milk, I like fear... Dave R"; r_text[38] = "-You know there is this sort of magic energy circle between you two, I'm outside of that circle... Dave R"; r_text[39] = "-I would never go to a third world country, unless I am there to conquer it... Dave R"; r_text[41] = "-I can tell you for a fact that there is no chance whatsoever that I have an STD! NONE!... Dave R"; r_text[42] = "-You know how I know I don't have any gay friends? Because I don't have any friends period... Dave R"; r_text[43] = "-Oooh, I love a good ambient occlusion, so freakin sexy... Dave R"; r_text[44] = "-I love to say that word (submission protocol), it makes me feel like I'm Starship Captian... Dave R"; r_text[45] = "-How do you know that I don't go home at night and punch holes in the wall pretending it's you... Dave R"; r_text[46] = "-I'm a die hard and a wolf sprite hater, so I'm a spriter... Dave R"; r_text[47] = "-I have no Russian heritage that I know of, I mean that I acknowledge. I am 100% grade A American... Dave R"; r_text[48] = "-I AM THE LORD OF THE RENDERFARM!... Dave R"; r_text[49] = "-Bill, you should know that while you were doing that, I was cooking inside my mother, I was clawing through my mother's birth canal trying to get out... Dave R"; r_text[50] = "-Seth was just a beast from another world... Dave R"; r_text[51] = "-What are you talking about? You get more love than me. I'm stuck in the corner by myself. I'm like the people under the stairs... Dave R"; r_text[52] = "-Noone needs to worry anymore, none of you are in danger, I am here... Dave R"; r_text[53] = "-See now that I think about it, it is no longer a jedi movie, Revenge of the Jedi is a tragedy... Dave R"; r_text[54] = "-Me, if you give me a tablet and photoshop and wrap me in a paper bag, I couldn't design my way out of it... Dave R"; r_text[55] = "-Dude, that is as fresh as this morning's sushi... Dave R"; r_text[56] = "-That idea doesn't count, I was relieving myself when it just popped into my head... Dave R"; r_text[57] = "-Wehrli, you are so much trouble, now everytime I laugh or sneeze I expect an e-card... Dave R"; r_text[58] = "-Do onto others before they have a chance to do onto you... Dave R"; r_text[59] = "-Ilya your just a non-voting immigrant, I'm sorry!... Dave R(after a heated discussion about politics)"; r_text[60] = "-I'm a lot better when I'm angry, kind of like women, they are a lot prettier when they are angry... Dave R"; r_text[61] = "-OWW! That was not my intention to hit your table with my kneecap... Dave R"; r_text[62] = "-Your a good designer and... that's it... Dave R"; r_text[63] = "-In my opinion, I cannot get along with Ilya, I think I'm mentally allergic to him... Dave R"; r_text[64] = "-Hey, show some compassion for the people who are hurting inside, alright?... Dave R"; r_text[65] = "-I have no taboos... Dave R"; r_text[66] = "-Ancient Chinese saying: don't kick your friend in the balls... Dave R"; r_text[67] = "-Dude, what's up with your Open GL, it's totally jacked!... Dave R"; r_text[68] = "-Are you mixing wasabi and soy sauce in the same bowl?! That's considered crass... Dave R"; r_text[69] = "-Ian is like an Octopus, he has his fingers everywhere... Dave R"; r_text[70] = "-You know what I'm sayin?... Dave R"; r_text[71] = "-I get high on cinnamon... Dave R"; r_text[72] = "-Do you know what they call professional 3d modelers? Practicing polygamists... Dave R"; r_text[73] = "-Whatever chaffes your willie, don't be pissed about it... Dave R"; r_text[74] = "-Like Leonardo DiCaprio goes, 'In America it's bling bling, in Africa, it's bling bang'... T.I.P. baby - This Is Prologue... Dave R"; r_text[75] = "-I'm just acting like I'm full of myself. I'm actually not, but it is fun to hear myself... Dave R"; r_text[76] = "-Isn't respiratory jam just another word for flem?... Dave R"; r_text[77] = "-Do you think Iron Man and the Man of Steel could hang together? and when they dance, do they grind?... Dave R"; r_text[78] = "-Sanchez, I love that frame so much, I want to smear raspberry jam on your scren and lick it off... Dave R"; r_text[79] = "-If you have a mental breakdown and you are unable to function in society, can you file for disability? You still have to pay your rent, right?... Dave R"; r_text[80] = "-I never carry pictures of myself or my family, because if I lost them then somebody might track us down... Dave R"; var i = Math.floor(81*Math.random()) document.write('' + r_text[i] + ''); } // JavaScript Document